So, I'm not gonna lie. Like a lot of women out there, I'm into Pinterest.... a lot. Most of us will admit that at some point in our Pinterest obsession we've stumbled upon some weird $hit. It's kind of like YouTube. We've all been there before. You start with one video of Avenged Sevenfold (I'm using them because this is where this conversation is heading) and before you know it, you're watching videos of cats walking and talking like people. Hours later you come out of your haze and realize you've seen things a Brillo pad wouldn't scrub off your brain.
Anyway! Back to Pinterest. So, one night, about two o'clock in the morning when I was suffering from "insomnia" (which means I wouldn't put my phone down long enough to try and sleep) I ran into a picture of M. Shadows. See where that Avenged Sevenfold thing was heading? I can't remember what the picture consisted of, probably the cutest dimples that ever graced the face of a metal singer.
I digress. Whatever the hell it was about the picture made me want to click on it to see where it had come from.
Now. I love a good romance novel, so when the page opened up to a fan fiction site I was a little interested. I mean, how bad could it be? It's practically the same thing, right? Wrong.
Not to knock fan fiction. If you're into that shit that's amazing! I mean, I'm pretty sure 50 Shades of Grey actually started out as a Twilight fan fiction and look how that turned out.
So I browsed through the top ten choices of this apparent Avenged Sevenfold fan fiction sight. Each story is rated you see, on a one to ten scale. I opened the second rated story, always the fan of an underdog (I've learned my lesson).
The story started out alright. I had a hard time getting past the idea that this person was writing a story about a married man that actually existed in the world but I pushed on anyway. I won't go into too many details to save myself from any trouble so I'll just go ahead and lay it out there. Apparently, the heroine was the young daughter of Matt Sanders (M. Shadows) and she went onto explore a so creepy sexual relationship with her dad. WTF?!
I'm all for creative freedoms and I'd consider myself pretty open minded but I, as a 29 year old woman, couldn't get past the first two chapters. COULDN'T.
I'm still can't believe that there were so many people that thought it was so good that it was the second ranked story on the website. And no, the writing wasn't that spectacular either, that thought crossed my mind too. Maybe I should start writing fan fiction. My first thought goes to Corey Taylor, of course. If I could get past the guilt of writing about an actual person I don't think I could out do anything that has actually happened to him. I saw an interview with him once where he talked about a woman wanting to wear his mask while they had sex. Apparently he's not "that into himself" and it resulted in the woman chasing him through the parking lot trying to bite him or something. How do you top that? Apparently with incestuous pedophile stories -_-.
In retrospect, even fan fiction authors can be metal and if you've stumbled upon any of the crap yourself, how did it turn out for you?
So, it's Christmas and the conversation is dwindling and I mention a video clip that I've been trying to get my two year old daughter to watch, Will Hunt playing the drums like a beast. My mother, being the antagonist that she is, started in on me, "What is this Heavy Metal thing you're getting into now. Is that something that Meagan's into?" I'm almost thirty and Meagan is my twenty year old friend who wears tights, Uggs, and listens to Taylor Swift. She hates my taste in music almost as much as my mother.
"No mom. Are we going to start this again?"
She dropped it thank God. Spirit of the season I guess. Anyway! We're getting off point here and that is the fact that it's taken me almost thirty years to get to the point where I'm listening to heavier (scarier?) music and getting shit from the people around me.
In my defense to all you metal heads out there. I've been a long time Metallica fan, since I was a small child actually (thanks to my older brother) and have always been open minded about the music I listen to. Aside from Lamb of God because frankly, Randy Blythe scares the shit out of me. I had a friend so many years ago that gave me my first Rancid CD (...And Out Come the Wolves) and I spent a lot of high school listening to punk.
When I met my husband he slowly introduced me to the part of his life that included his history in his own local band, In Another Life. He played drums for them and occasionally still plays the instrument for me which almost ten years later, still melts my heart.
Thanks to him I shifted some of my attention from the Texas Country music scene (don't judge) to some metal, mainly alternative. I think he was trying to keep from scaring me away. Breaking Benjamin, Sick Puppies, that kind of stuff. Sometimes he'd mix in some Kittie for good measure.
A while ago I got stuck listening to From Can to Can't. It was one of those moments when the music soaked in, changing my perspective of everything around me. I watched the video which was a mistake! The way Corey Taylor pours himself into that song.... Holy Shit. Anyway. I scoured YouTube for about two days for any and everything Corey Taylor.
I wouldn't mind sticking my finger in Corey's brain though and seeing if some of it would soak in by osmosis.
Look! This isn't about my infatuation with Corey Taylor! Stop distracting me. This is about the evolution of my metalness. Corey is just where it started, really. Naturally, the next step was loving Slipknot. Before I Forget? Amazing. Joey Jordison playing People=Shit? Perfection. Absolute perfection (Yes I know he's no longer with Slipknot and I'm willing to look around that.) So since this epiphany that I'm falling in love with heavy metal I've been scouring the darkest corners to explore this new found obsession. I'm a little late in the game but I plan on making up for it in sheer passion.
So! This is the beginning of my written journey through the fury and craziness that is Metal music. Next topic will be over Avenged Sevenfold's fan fiction because I stumbled upon this particular story through my Pinterest page and it was.... intense. Like, creepy, sick, twisted, intense and I feel like you people should be privy to that shit. Anyhow! I'm looking for feedback, education, support, anything really! I've found that the metal community is so f*ing amazing. So, no judgment! There's enough of that shit out there and if you're into power metal or viking metal... I salute you :).
